Groucho Marx Quotes

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

While hunting in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant got into my pajamas, I'll never know.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.